Fousesquawk Wins Lebon Prize for Scimonoce

".....4,3,2,1-you're on."



We are covering the Fousesquawk press conference upon the announcement that he has been selected for this year's Lebon Award for Scimonoce. He is approaching the podium now, so let's listen in.

Fousesquawk: "Welcome to my press conference. Any questions?

1st questioner: "Mr Fousesquawk, what were you doing when you recieved the news that you had been chosen by the Lebon Committee for their annual prize in Scimonoce?

Fousesquawk: "I was in the bathroom. Is there a follow-up?

1st questioner: "Uh, no."

2nd questioner: "Sir, I'm a little confused. Could you explain what the field of Scimonoce is?"

Fousesquawk: It's just another one of those "save the world" endeavors that the Lebon Committee likes to give prizes for. Actually, it's sort of a cross between writin' and figurin' out the cost of drinkin' beer in Europe. I think the word is derived from Estonian."

3rd questioner: "Why do you think you were selected? Was it because you knew the right people?"

Fousesquawk: "Hell, no. Actually, it's a question of liking the right people and hating the right people."

3rd questioner follow-up: "But doesn't that suggest that the Lebon Prize has a lot to do with politics?"

Fousesquawk: "Welcome to the world, kid. You'll be a great investigative reporter some day."

4th questioner: "How much money is the prize?"

Fousesquawk: "$6.75."

5th questioner: "Do you plan to travel to Carson City to pick up your prize?"

Fousesquawk: "Doesn't make a lot of sense, now does it? Hotels there cost at least about 9 bucks a night-and who knows what the Bunnytail Ranch would cost me. No, they can send it in the mail."

6th questioner: "Sir, the Daily Kos says giving you this award is a joke. How do you respond"?

Fousesquawk: "'Bout time old Markos got one right."

7th questioner: "Sir, you are an Adjunct Emeritus Teacher of ESL (English as a Second Language) at the University of California at Irvine. Does this mean you'll get a raise?"

Fousesquawk: "Maybe, if my students give me good evaluations for the next 4 quarters, I might get another couple of bucks an hour, who knows." Just as long as they don't ask me to teach a second class.

"Final question."

8th questioner: "Can you tell us who came in second in the voting?"

Fousesquawk: "Yeah, some guy named Krugman. Understand they gave him some sort of consolation prize. Thanks for comin'"