Saturday, August 22, 2015
Fousesquawk Celebrity Endorsements: Hillary Clinton for Ashley Madison
Hi! This is Hillary here for my friends and associates at Ashley Madison, the adult website for men and women who want to have a really discreet affair.
And why am I endorsing Ashley Madison? Because Bill and I helped design their server, which means you can rely on Ashley Madison for your intimate communication security needs,
And what better server service could Ashley Madison use but one from the ex-secretary of state? Yes, I am a person who knows a thing or two about the need for secure communications. That's why Bill and I set up our private server in our home in Chappaqua, New York, a secure site with Secret Service agents parked outside 24-7. Hell, Bill has been using this server for years to keep his affairs from becoming public knowledge. You can't argue with results.
In addition, Ashley Madison and us have teamed up with a top secret, nondescript IT company tucked away in the mountains of Colorado called Platte River Networks. Located in a nondescript former apartment loft at 5700 Washington St. in Denver, they store our servers where nobody would ever think to look-in a bathroom closet.
So what are you waiting for? If you're looking to cheat, join the best cheaters in the business. Join today. And if you tell them Hillary sent you, my expert technical team will wipe your server clean every week for free! That's a $19 value. We won't even charge you for the cloth.