Sunday, July 19, 2015

The Iran Deal Movie

I heard on one of those local LA talk radio shows when the Iran nuclear deal was announced that they were already planning to make a movie about it.

That promises to be an action-packed thriller. I can visualize it all now. John Kerry's plane lands in the dead of night in Geneva. A jet-lagged Kerry retires to his hotel suite for a few hours sleep before he has to endure another tongue-lashing from the Iranian foreign minister.

What new concessions will Kerry offer?

I got it! Picture this: John Kerry bicycling in the French Alps. A mile up ahead, a shadowy figure places a tree branch in the road before ducking into a get-away car with Israeli diplomatic plates. Kerry rounds the curve and-disaster. A broken leg and it's off to the hospital where French doctors advise him-plead with him to break off negotiations and remain in the hospital for 11 months rest and recuperation. But our hero sneaks out of the hospital in the dead of night and is sneaked across the border back into Switzerland hidden in the trunk of a car.

Switch reels as Kerry arrives in Vienna on crutches. Another deadline looms. Will they reach an agreement in time? No-but wait! Another extension is announced as theater audiences all over the nation sigh in relief.

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Finally, over a plate of Wiener schnitzel, the historic deal is made in Vienna. The Iranian foreign  minister signs Kerry's cast and champagne is served.

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Above- Mullahs in Iran holding out their hands to receive their goodies.

All that is left is the final scene in Oslo as Nobel Peace Prizes are awarded all around; Kerry, the Iranian foreign minister, Moniz and Obama.

                                                       "Hey, Lars! What's that mushroom cloud way off in the distance?'

My nomination for the lead role of John Kerry is Willem Dafoe. He's used to playing weird characters.

Who will portray the inimitable Ernest Moritz? Only Danny Devito if we can get him a suitable wig.

What about the Baronness Lady Catherine Ashton of the EU? She will have to play herself. Central Casting was unable to find a match.

And Obama? Tiger Woods, of course.

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"I am content."

And the Iranian foreign minister, who so abused Kerry?
"No, you can't inspect my boobs."


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