Saturday, December 22, 2012

James Clapper's "Lock of the Week" (Week 16)

Hey there, sports fans, it's me again, James Clapper, your testosterone-laden National Intelligence Director with your.....

LOCK of the WEEK.

This week, I'm giving you two picks, Cincinnati at Pittsburgh and the Chargers at the Jets.

Bengals at Steelers

As they say in Sportsville, there is no tomorrow. If the Bengals win, the Steelers are eliminated from the World Series. The situation is so serious, Steeler president Dan Rooney resigned from his post as US ambassador to Ireland and rushed back to Pittsburgh to rejoin the Steelers in their hour of need. Little did he know that he will probably have to suit up Sunday and play corner back against Bengals receiver AJ Green. About half of the Steelers starters are out with injuries of one sort or another, twisted ankles, hamstrings, or lingering concussions.

But if the Steelers pull this off and beat the Bengals, plus beat the Browns next Sunday, while the Ravens lose to the Giants this week and to the Bengals next week, guess what! We have a three-way tie in the AFC North at 9-7 between the Steelers, Bengals and Ravens. Then what? It's tie-breaker time, Baby.

So let's look at the numbers. You know when you are head of national intelligence, that means you have to analyze a lotta charts and graphs. So let's look at the charts and graphs to see who would win the division under such a scenario.

First of all, the Steelers and Ravens split their two games, each winning by a field goal. The Steelers have already beaten the Bengals, so a win tomorrow would give them two by my calculations. The Ravens beat the Bengals earlier, so a Bengals win next week would even the series by my figures. That brings us to the division standings, which would be as follows:

Steelers 4-2
Ravens 4-2
Bengals 2-4

Then we examine the W-L numbers within the AFC:

Ravens 8-4
Steelers 6-6
Bengals 6-6

So who the Hell would win the AFC North?  Drum roll, please.........

The Cleveland Browns!

"What? We worry?"

So my prediction is that the Steelers will win a  squeaker 1-0, with Dan Rooney making a game-saving interception, which should make Fousesquawk happy because if I picked the Bengals, he wouldn't have me on his blog any more.

Now let's get on to the big match-up, the Chargers at the Jets. Both teams have a lot on the line tomorrow, namely Rex Ryan and Norv Turner's jobs. Ryan has just made his big decision about who is going to start at quarterback tomorrow. No it's not Mark Sanchez, and no, it's not Tim Tebow. Here is the headline.

So look for the Jets to ride King Kong's strong right arm to a big win tomorrow.

Jets 4
Chargers 2

 Hey! Does anybody know if the world ended yesterday?

No comments: