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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Celebrity Endorsements: Eric Holder for Post Toasties/Be a Junior G-Man

"I'm a Junior G-Man!"



Hi kids,

This is Eric Holder, the attorney general. Now you can be a junior G-Man and help me track down society's enemies. When your parents buy a box of Post Toasties, you will find your Junior G-Man badge inside. That makes you an official member of the Attorney General's Junior G-Man team.



Inside, you will also find a free coupon in each box, which you can send in for all the items you'll need to be a Junior G-Man. Here is a list of all the items you can get.

1 A Junior G-Man plastic camera that you can use to take pictures of all those subversive Tea Party rallies.


                                                                      (Bad guys)


2  An official list of all our known subversive blogs, you know, like Fousesquawk, Hot Air, and all the others. Then you can tell Mom and Dad not to read that filthy propaganda that makes fun of our beloved president.

3 A authentic-looking plastic AK47, which you can take with you when you and your family go on that next vacation trip to Mexico. You'll find plenty of kids to play war games with down there.

4 A Junior G-Man tape recorder you can secretly turn on when you hear some counter-progressive talking badly about our beloved president-or me-or plotting to vote against him in the next election.

5 A complete undercover disguise kit just like our agents use.



6 An actual voting ballot, already filled out, which can be duplicated and stuffed in ballot boxes. Hours of fun! (And if anyone asks you for ID, send me a letter. I'll take care of it.)

7 A plastic billy club with the logo of the New Black Panther Party inscribed. You will be the envy of the neighborhood.


                                                                        "Hi kids!"



8 A Junior G-Man lie detector machine, which you can hook up to your TV as you watch me testify before Congress...er, that way, you can tell when those Republican congressmen are asking me dishonest questions, heh heh.

So what are you waiting for? Tell Mom and Dad to pick up a box of Post Toasties today and become a Junior G-Man.


1 comment:

elwood p suggins said...

I disagree. I would offer a small wager that there were few white people indeed, if in fact any at all, who laughed at these two fools as they entered the polling place. Let me smack you a couple times with one of those "little clubs" and see how little you think they are then.

You gotta remember that as I recall, Philadelphia is the home of that high-ranking Panther (number 2 nationally, I believe,whose name thankfully escapes me except that I think it has Shabazz somewhere in it) who has repeatedly stated that he hates "every iota" of all white people, and calls all of them (us) "crackers".

Further, the PA authorities apparently proved "incompetent or unwilling---", since it was variously and frequently reported, accurately or otherwise, that the Bush adminstration was in fact pursuing this matter and the Obama administration terminated that activity/investigation.

My reference to "Federal time" was a little shot at humor. Even so, even if the Bush activity was civil rather than criminal, which it might have been (I am prepared to be enlightened further in this regard), the differences in policy
are stark indeed.