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Saturday, December 25, 2010

MSNBC Brings You a Special Winter Event Edition of "Lockup"

As you know, today is the Winter Event, so we have no regular programming because our "anchors" are off. However, we are going to take you to Rikers Island for a special edition of "Lock-up", where our famous "anchors" are all gathered together to give you a special greeting.


Chris Matthews

"Boy did I get a raw deal. I was in this public bathroom standing at the urinal. The guy standing next to me looked just like Barack Obama. So's I told him, 'You know, you make my leg tingle'. Turns out he was an undercover vice cop. Boom! Next thing I know, here I am."

Keith Olbermann

"Talk about a raw deal! I get stopped by this copper for a chickensh--- speeding ticket. So's I give him one of my "special comments", and boom! Here I am."


Ed (Butter and Egg Man) Schultz


"I was in this bar, ya see. I had a few shooters, got a little "fired up", went out and robbed a convenience store of some butter and eggs, and next thing I know-here I am!"



Lawrence O'Donnell

"Talk about a raw deal! All I did was get mad at Alan Grayson and tell him off on my show. Then he writes a letter to Eric Holder and boom! Here I am."



Rachel Maddow

"Talk about a raw deal! I'm walking down the street in Washington on my way to interview some liberal Democrat. Next thing I know some Treasury agent tries to arrest me for impersonating the Secretary of the Treasury. I says, ' Do I look like the Secretary of the Treasury to you?'. Then he shows me a picture of Tim Geithner. So's I copped a plea and here I am."


Well, anyway, even though our heroes can't be here today, they all want to send you their special holiday greetings. (Chris Hayes will be filling in all 5 hours until further notice. That should do wonders for our ratings.)




"Happy Winter Event, everybody!"  (Hat tip to whoever created the above monstrosity)

3 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Contrived Gary. Good political satire contains a kernel of truth to wrap the humor around.

Gary Fouse: I was going about my business as a concerned citizen, rounding up illegal aliens at gun-point, when some cop arrested me for pointing my weapon at the Mayor of Los Angeles, and here I am.

(No, it's not that funny, but it's in the same mold as what you just offered.)

Gary Fouse said...

Actually there was an element of truth in them.

Ed Schultz (Fired up)a segment of his show where he sounds off on something.

Olbermann-Special comment- same deal

Maddow-Looks like Geithner

Matthews- Tingling leg/Obama

O'Donnell told off Grayson, who had written a letter to Holder demanding prosecution of a woman who set up an anti-Grayson blog.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Your first four claims are so inscrutable that, at best, you have painted yourself into the corner where you have to explain the joke so thoroughly that the humor has long since evaporated.

Grayson? He's a jerk. We agree on that much. Even if he wasn't, there is no law against setting up anti-anybody blogs. I used to enjoy a blog called www.gwbush.com, which Georgie Porgie made similar complaints about. "There ought to be limits to freedom" I think he said. Bush and Grayson, together for 1984, twenty six years too late.