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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Al Gore, Dead Polar Bears and Live Earth




I am usually laughing too hard at Al Gore to actually sit down and write about him, but since he is being touted about as a presidential candidate, I might as well devote some attention to him just for yuks.

I have long since come to the conclusion that Mr Gore has serious issues, in other words, I think he is nuts. But unfortunately many people actually take him seriously even after years of jokes about him having invented the Internet, discovering Love Canal and being the model for the movie "Love Story".

Now, as we all know, Mr Gore is involved in the Environmental Movement, having won an Oscar for his movie, "An Inconvenient Truth" and now awaiting the inevitable Nobel Prize for Something. One would have thought that with the revelation that Mr Gore lives in a Tara style mansion in Tennessee that uses about 20 times the amount of energy of a normal household plus the knowledge that the former Veep travels around the world in a Gulf Stream jet to promote his Green message that this boob would be totally discredited. Well, although conservatives have long ago laughed him out of town, a lot of young people and liberal Green-minded people actually take him seriously. (Did you see that movie producer sycophant hanging on Gore's collar at the Oscars? Good thing Al didn't make a sharp left turn on his way off the stage- You know the joke about the broken nose.)

Now remember, when, during the Oscars, he was asked about his own profligate life style, Mr Gore actually had the "huevos" to talk about his "carbon neutral lifestyle" and the carbon credits that he purchases to make himself "carbon neutral". Initially, we wondered what that was all about. But now we know. Seems that Mr Gore invests or pays into a company that promotes environmental issues around the globe, in this case a company called Generation Investment Management. You see, it works this way: If you, Gore or any of his high-living Hollywood friends are leaving a big carbon footprint by using a lot of energy, flying around in private jets or living in huge mansions, you can make it all good by purchasing carbon credits from companies like GIM. Kind of like in medieval times when the Catholic Church sold Indulgences to sinners to absolve them of their sins. Really no difference at all. (It was practices like these that inspired Martin Luther to launch the Reformation.) Such a deal! But wait! What is the deal with this outfit, GIM? Guess who founded the company and is a co-owner. AL GORE!!

So now you figure the whole world is laughing at Al Gore, right? Wrong! Now Carbon Neutral Man has launched a new venture, which stole the attention of the world this past weekend. Live Earth. That's right, multiple concerts held worldwide featuring singers like Madonna and other loons like Robert F Kennedy Jr. haranging audiences to save the planet by walking to work, getting rid of their SUVs, dismantling corporations and capitalism ad nauseum. Never mind the energy used by these turkeys flying in their private jets to venues all over the world. Never mind the fact that these people are not about to give up their own lives of luxury. Never mind the trash left by the thousands of concert goers. As long as you are Raising Awareness, that's all that counts.

Meanwhile, liberal teachers all over the country are forcing pupils and in some cases, even their parents to watch Gore's movie in class. Some parents are complaining that their children are coming home from school crying and having nightmares about drowned polar bears floating down Main Street.

Anyway, I'll keep laughing at Al Gore unless he actually becomes president. He may be a hero, prophet or a saint to some on the left, but to me, he is still "Weird Al". Every time I think about this blowhard, I keep wondering how many bodies he could have buried in that huge basement of his in Tennessee. Wouldn't that make a hell of a carbon footprint?

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